VTK-OILSJT babbelbox :: Bekijk onderwerp

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

<conceited> i cant sleep till i know im using up half of the neighborhood bandwidth

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<quisling> bwahaha, I was looking through some personals and this chick's username is "responsible" but she's 20 with a child...

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<EK> What if the war in Afghanistan was fought with midgets!
<Jei> With midgets as infantry, or as ammunition?

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<[Ht]Fro> Here in canada we have a special program to deal with the homeless...it's called winter

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<lasthero> i own a lot of cds
<lasthero> and i own a kick ass stereo too
<lasthero> but don't own speackers, they cost so much

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<kolby> shit I'm sick, just got out of the hospital
<Scofco> You ok?
<kolby> Yea but Ball Reduction surgery is no cup of tea

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<[0megaX]> oh what the hell, her computer is doing the exact same damn thing
<[0megaX]> it's like there's a time bomb in os x..everything works perfectly until this exact moment when it stops for both of us..that's fooken strange
<AeroBob> It's a sign from God.
<AeroBob> Mac users edited it out of the Bible, but the eleventh commandment was "Thou shalt get a proper computer, for fuck's sake."

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<Raine> Loggy, you ever hear of Escape Velocity?
<Loggy> I DONT KNOW THE NAME, BUT THE FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!!! BWAHAHAHAHHA!!! LOLZ LOLZ LOLZ
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Raine (jerk)
<Raine> LMAO
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> damn AT&T...
*** Loggy has been kicked off channel #mooniverse by Al (You go to hell and you die!)
<Raine> ROFL
<Al> hehe
*** Loggy (~Loggy@12.25.86.106) has joined channel #mooniverse
<Loggy> better give them a call..

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<RogueFoxx> I'm going to go outside
<RogueFoxx> where no nerd has gone before
<RogueFoxx> pray for me

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Curseoftantalus: How the HELL are ya doin?
PrimalDeicide: GOOD
Curseoftantalus: GREAT! That's GREAT to hear!
PrimalDeicide: AWESOME
Curseoftantalus: WONDERFUL!
Curseoftantalus: INCREDIBLE!
PrimalDeicide: INCREDULISTIC FABULOSIS!
Curseoftantalus: That's not funny man, my great grandmother died of that.
PrimalDeicide: She must have looked very good for the funeral.
Curseoftantalus: Fabulously incredible.

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<F7> nifty
<F7> its nice to have a working laptop again
<F7> now i can be unproductive anywhere

Matthys · Powerpraeses

nie echt mirc makom

If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bull**** u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

Matthys · Powerpraeses

<PO_Dorn> Hey, those of you familiar with iPod's -- how do you put text files onto them?
<Xearz|away> Magic marker?

steve: whats your opinion on censorship
insomniacdude007: **** censorship

<zere> i need to make 75 thousand dollars
<videogameaholic> removing your head from your ass leaves quite a medical bill, doesn't it.

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

<Sloyment> Don't type so fast. This channel looks like Tetris level 50

Matthys · Powerpraeses

antwoorden van amikaanse kinderen (op school):
"When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."
"H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water"
"To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"
"When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"
"Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"
"Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
"Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
"Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
"Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
"The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
"Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull."
"Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."
"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
"Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
"The body consists of three parts- the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
"The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
"The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
"The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to."
"The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
"A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is."
"Many women belive that an alcoholic binge will have no ill effects on the unborn fetus, but that is a large misconception."
"Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa."
"Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
"Liter: A nest of young puppies."
"Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
"Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
"Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
"Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
"Vacumm: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
"Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative."
"To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
"For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the heart stops."
"For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artifical perspiration."
"For fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor."
"For dog bite: put the dog away for sevral days. If he has not recovered, then kill it."
"For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead."
"To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
"For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops in your throat."
"To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."

Matthys · Powerpraeses

<|MonK|> I have a 16X dvd rom drive, so why dose it still take an hour and a half to watch a whole DVD?

<Faight> Reproduction is stupid.
<AndrewLB> You want sex, don't you?
<Faight> I have a 6 year old brother.
<Faight> He's an annoying little bastard, but I love him.
<Faight> =/
<AndrewLB> That was quite possibly THE most disturbing answer you could give.

<funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?

<Sauron> nazis steal everything from other cultures
<Sauron> swastica = stolen, salute = stolen, skinhead name = stolen
<Sauron> nazi banners = stolen
<Sauron> nazi eagle = stolen
<r3q> world domination = priceless
<Sauron> lol

<yarokod> does alcohol remove permanent ink from a cd?
<defused> dunno...it does remove clothes on young females tho

<Vhalros> You are what you eat.
<Antoile> Are you calling me a pussy?
<Vhalros> No I very much doubt that I am.

<MadManDaz> I bought one of those camouflage shirts and put it in my closet. Now I can't find it.

<Aidan> If you found out a commet was about to strike Earth and you had five minutes to live, what you would do?
<Alsander> You mean, who would I rape

Matthys · Powerpraeses

<Driph> a friend of mine is bi
<Driph> and she's arguing with her girlfriend about who is supposed to cook tonite
<Driph> and I told her that was the worst thing about a relationship between two women, you dont automatically know who's supposed to cook

<DAL9000> being alone sucks... i want to stab someone in the eye, but alas, noone is there.

<meyowith> almost done cleaning my room
<meyowith> now to untangle my wires..
Quit: Meyowith (connection reset by peer)

<KoaL> smuggling drugs into Jamaica is like smuggling slimfast into Ethiopia

Substitue Teacher> Alright class. Here's the next question. Spain was divided into what? Hint, Canada has these.
Dane> Umm... Canadians!
Kyle> ... Provinces you idiot...

<[-Blacksword-]> brb, dishes have developed their own language and are talking to the garbage about overthrowing me... i must correct this

<TossMonkey> well, people who take a test on the internet to see if they have a personality should already know the answer.

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

<althea> i was fucked on tranquilizers
<althea> fucked up i mean

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<drunkers> hey what name am i under?
<[Piratez]> drunkers
<drunkers> what?
<[Piratez]> huh?
<drunkers> i asked what name am i under?
<[Piratez]> drunkers you fool
<drunkers> never mind ill ask someone else

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<knox> i used to use zippers but my foreskin got stick in it
<knox> i went to velcro and had some pubic hair problems
<knox> now i just wear dresses

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<DawnG>I was forced to attend a seminar on leadership. We were broken into small groups and each was asked to state what skills a good leader possesses. I wrote, "Needs to be good with elephants and crossing Alps." The others at my table were amused, but the seminar coordinator didn't get it. I said it was a reference to Hannibal, known for his leadership qualities. Her reply: "What leadership qualities? He was a cannibal, and anyway, it was lambs, not elephants."

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<TurdS> i have to go and negociate the release of the chocolate hostages
* TurdS is now known as TurdS[shitting]

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<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them

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<Joghurt^> hell yeah i want some lego porn

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died

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<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass
<notmewse> oh shit wrong window

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[ ctr] damn the sun is really bright

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<Tomalak> Pregnancy from rape is extremely rare.
<DarkYouth> But here you are, eh Tomalak?
<Tomalak> I wouldn't say what your dad did to your mom was strictly consensual, DY. If a sheep runs away, it doesn't mean "keep on going".

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<Wilykat> I'm so goth, I pee black stuff.
<Wilykat> My goth friends say I should go see a doctor.
<Wilykat> But they are just not goth enough to understand!

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<Q> i need a remote control, and when you press a button on it, it makes your female friends stop being weird
<Lestat> I have one of those.
<Lestat> It's called a gun.

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*|Truth| Thinks he should teach moe a lesson in "Fucking Fine Bitches 101"
<moes_19> Truth - the finest bitch you've ever fucked sweats through its tongue.
<moes_19> dipshit
<Puedlfor> Ouch.

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Trikkz R 4 Kidz: YO
Trikkz R 4 Kidz: WASSUP?
tetsu2051: presumably not your shift key

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

<Toen[hw]> so when you inherited one and a half x and half a y, you realized "Oooh, that little timmy kid's got a tight ass"

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(gENERIC) who the hell came up with the word twat?
(gENERIC) that's the suavest thing i've heard next to love-tunnel

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<Musket> is there an echo in here?
<ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
<FessyBugger> in here?
<Kajifox> here?

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<zien> ah i love water. it's like nature's fruit juice.
<cgom> ....FRUIT JUICE is nature's fruit juice. moron.

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<linuxelf> During our last camping trip, we came up with a new idea for the japanese. Having a bunch of guys pour coffee on a woman's face, and call it Bukkoffee.
<linuxelf> yeah, we had a few beers...

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<Corsair> My ex-wife pulled my kids out of school because she wants to home-school them.
<Dolphin_24994> And this is bad?
<Corsair> Damn straight. That fucking idiot couldn't teach someone how to pour water out of a bucket with instructions printed on the bottom.

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<DB> Oh god - what the fuck do they put in absinthe? i only had a couple and I feel like I've been raped by a camel..
<Rust_Bunny> It's meant to be taken orally ..

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<Blaxthos> you know what
<Blaxthos> DO YOU KNOW
<Blaxthos> i'm slightly ashamed
<Blaxthos> but
<Blaxthos> then i remember being 7 yrs old
<AltSnooze> you peepeed in your pants again?
<Blaxthos> dancing with mom
<Blaxthos> Elton John - I'm Still Standing.mp3
<Blaxthos> i still love that song
<chilly> did you uncle touch you in funny places?
<Blaxthos> no Sad

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<DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused

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<savenor> i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident

Keymeulen · Computerpraeses

Matthys · Powerpraeses

<Night-hen-gayle> I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.

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<VanJeans> How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
<VanJeans> Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.

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<The_Fallen> He, two years ago we were at the computer lab and my friends, a dumbass farmer, wrote in the adress bar : "I wanna see a website about car, please, thanks alot"
<The_Fallen> Oh, My, Fucking, God.

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<SiZZuRp> bend over and spell run

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

<blazemore> don't make me press nine limp inches against your forehead and leave a sweaty red mark from the moist underside
<Nikki> sorry

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<Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<th0m> no, that's *cock*

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<Anton> I can see myself reinstalling windows
<A|exander> wow, are you having an out of body experience?

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<Nydus> hey whatsup
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> ok...
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> dude whats wrong with you
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> i just wanna talk
<Zoom> GAY
<Nydus> you know, a rumor is going around that you are...
<Zoom> GAY
<Zoom> CRAP

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<membranoid> MIGGER: THE MAGIC NIGGER

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<Vaun> need something good to read for like 10 min
<Vaun> anyone have an interesting thread / link / etc
<Dzza|Wants-SI> i once read a book
<Dzza|Wants-SI> it was about a giant blob eating the school
<Dzza|Wants-SI> but then a fat kid ate the blog
<Vaun> anyone else?

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<ryant09> How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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<[TFF]Metalstar> dunno. if you were gettin bjs from 13 year olds you would be in jail
<alphaxion|Zzzz> or in japan

---+-

<SpitZ> this sms was sent by a friend of mine
<SpitZ> Sally mr. pls,2wedding
<SpitZ> What's that supposed to mean?
<crazhee> i think it read as "Sally mist'er period. please comma to wedding

Matthys · Powerpraeses

nog es e paar goeikes toch

Simon · Carnavalpraeses

[jstepka-w] it's not gay, there are several key nerve endings in your prostate

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<enntee> my parents told me one time we were in a fancy restaurant, i was
a child, and i had gone to the bathroom to take a piss
<enntee> i ran out of the bathroom screaming "i made bubbles! i made
bubbles!" because i had always wanted to make bubbles in the toilet water,
but never had enough pee

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* ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.GamesNET.net) Quit (*.net *.split)
<DopefishJustin> damn chanserv
<DopefishJustin> they should rename it NegroServ because it never works

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tussen al de flauwe die ik vandaag al gelezen heb moest ik met dezen toch lachen

[Doctahluuuvvv] :: I just got fucking attacked my a huge ass spider.
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: *by
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: I looked up to see this huge spider on my monitor.
[Kendros]@:: lmao
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: THE MOTHERFUCKER JUMPED ONTO MY FACE
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: I FELL OVER BACKWARD
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: As I was typing randmo gibberish I hit ctrlatldel two times or something.
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: My computer was off after I killed it.
[boner] :: nice
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: Nice my ass.
[Doctahluuuvvv] :: I punched myself in the face :/

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<DrTrevorkian> i'm sick of this internet. i'm gonna make my own.

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~ tiko wishes he was part of this seceret club known as "jew"
(tiko) but when the entry fee is part of your cock, I think I'll pass

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<kate> you MALE. always wanting to talk about football instead of my menstrual cycle.

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<ion-> at least she has correctly proportioned genetalia
<ion-> within two standard deviations from the mean

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310||slackerr: man, they shut off the water in our building
310||slackerr: its gonna be off the entire day
510||joey: that SUCKS@
310||slackerr: the worst part is that i took a shit before i knew it was off

Matthys · Powerpraeses

<Firefly> Time for my prayers:
<Firefly> Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
<Firefly> May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
<Firefly> May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
<Firefly> Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
<Firefly> And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
<Firefly> Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
<Firefly> For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.